Monday 4 September 2017

Open Recruitment Day – Royal Catering


Open Recruitment Day – Royal Catering

Full Time
Royal Catering
At Royal Catering, we are always looking for talented professionals in the field of culinary and catering.

We are currently recruiting:
  • Somnelier / Bar Managers / Bar Supervisors
  • Restaurant Supervisors
  • Team leaders / Captains / Waiters
  • Bartenders / Receptionists / Hostesses
  • Stewarding Supervisors / Stewards
  • Housekeeping / Runners
  • Operation Managers
  • Assistant Banquet Managers
  • Project Managers with Catering Background
  • Logistics & Event Setup
  • Chef de Cuisine / Sous Chef
  • Chef de Partie
Preference goes to:
  • Hospitality Oriented
  • Customer Service Experience
  • Hospitality degree for supervisory level and above
  • Priority for candidates with experience working in 5 star hotels
Walk in Interview on Sept 10-11 9:00 AM – 4:00 PM
Lotus Downtown Metro Hotel Apartment Opposite of Al Ghurair Center Deira Dubai

STILL HIRING: CAR CARE EXPERTS / MECHANICS 3,000 AED MONTHLY SALARY (ALL INCLUSIVE) CLICK THE IMAGE FOR FULL JOB DESCRIPTION AND TO UPLOAD YOUR CV








STILL HIRING: CAR CARE EXPERTS / MECHANICS
3,000 AED MONTHLY SALARY (ALL INCLUSIVE)
CLICK THE IMAGE FOR FULL JOB DESCRIPTION AND TO UPLOAD YOUR CV


Car Care Experts maintain automechanical service operations by inspecting and maintaining vehicles. Lifting, Energy Level, Dependability, Persistence, Time Management, Attendance, Independence, Safety Management, Problem Solving, Dealing with Complexity, Analyzing Information
REQUIRED SKILLS:
Auto Detailing (Internal & External / Full)
Vehicle Body Repair & Maintenance
Window Tinting
Full Vehicle Check – Up
Spare Parts & Accessories
A/C Check – Up
Car Wrapping
Car Paint Job
Ceramic, Glass, and Powder Coating
Custom Fabrication
Sound Set – Up
Job Description:
CHECK THE JOB
  http://www.provisiondubai.com/ads/car-care-experts

Wednesday 16 August 2017

Maama ayiiridde abaana be babiri amafuta n’abakumako omuliro



Maama ayiiridde abaana be babiri amafuta n’abakumako omuliro

By Musasi wa Bukedde
Added 16th August 2017
OMUKAZI ayiiridde abaana be babiri amafuta n’abakumako omuliro ne batwalibwa mu ddwaaliro nga bataaawa, olwa bba obutamulekera ssente za ka mmeeza.
Paba 703x422
Abaana abayokeddwa.

Shirat Namatovu ,28 ow’omu Koona Zooni e Kawempe yayiiridde mutabani we Milrez Okwengera 3, ne muwala we Swabulah Agutu 4, amafuta n’abakumako omuliro ng’obusungu bwavudde ku bba Benard Wandera obutamulekera ssente za ka mmeeza ez’okugula emmere.
Muliraanwa we, John Mugerwa yagambye nti yawulidde abaana nga bakaaba n’akokona oluggi kyokka omukyala n’agaana okuggulawo kwe kusamba oluggi n’asanga abaana nga bakumiddwako omuliro ng’engoye n’ebimu ku bitundu by’omubiri nga biyidde.
Yakubidde poliisi y’e Kawempe eyazze n’ebatwala mu ddwaaliro ate maama waabwe ne bamutwala mu kkomera.
Omukazi yalaajanye nga poliisi emutwala nti bba abadde amulekera 5,000/- buli lunaku ku luno teyamulekedde wadde ennusu nga talina kya kuliisa baana era mu busungu nga bamukaabirira kwe kubakumako omuliro

Rape of Crane bank

By Andrew Mwenda
Rape of Crane bank
Yesterday two things happened. First it was revealed that Bank of Uganda (BOU) bought 350 pens at the cost of Shs 125m - see picture below👇🏿. I don't know what type of pens they are and their special purpose. But Ugandans must ask why our central bank buys pens that cost Shs 357,000 each.
Then DFCU bank announced that in the first six months of this year they have made a profit of Shs 115 billion compared to Shs 22 billion over the same period last year (an increase of 400%), and Shs 46 billion over the whole of 2016. In six months of taking over Crane Bank they have made almost three times the profit they made for the whole of last year. They also revealed that of this profit, Shs 60 billion came from their take over Crane Bank.
Let us remember that BOU claimed that Crane Bank was insolvent, riddled with many bad loans and over statement of its actual financial position. So they sold its assets for Shs 175 billion only. What the news of DFCU profits for the first six months of taking over Crane Bank reveals is that BOU was either extremely incompetent and/or grossly misunderstood Crane Bank's actual financial position. Or may be there was fraud. What we now know is that BOU sold very good assets at basement bargain prices. Why?
Let us also remember that all the money DFCU used to "buy" the assets of Crane Bank did not even go to BOU. Rather it was put into DFCU allegedly to recapitalize the bank and improve its liquidity position. So we have a bank with Shs 1.8 trillion in assets sold for Shs 175 billion. DFCU "borrowed" from its parent company in London the entire Shs 175 billion to pay for Crane Bank assets. This means that within the first one and a half years, profits from Crane Bank assets will pay the entire loan. Unbelievable!!
BOU and DFCU also claimed that a lot of the assets of Crane Bank were bad loans, worth Shs 550 billion. They claimed that DFCU inherited Shs 800 billion worth of good loans from Crane Bank. Even a child of six years would see the stupidity of such a position - or the fraud involved in such a deal. If I am wrong let BOU publish the sale agreement.
DFCU had invested nothing to get these loans worth 800 billion. Given the average interest rate in Crane Bank of 25%, DFCU was inheriting an asset with income of Shs 200 billion (in form of interest per year). Yet it would have invested very little to earn this interest. It was obvious this was a deal made in heaven for DFCU.
Meanwhile, the central bank claims that Crane Bank had non performing loans (bad loans) worth Shs 550 billion. These were written off to zero and Sudir has been asked to pay for all of them. So they took Shs 290 billion worth of his shareholder capital in the bank and have asked him to pay another Shs 260 billion to top up the loss.
Now MOST of all these so called "bad loans" had collateral to back them up, in most cases the best pieces of real estate in Uganda. Right now DFCU is collecting money on these bad loans. Where is this money going since Sudir has paid and is being asked to pay for the total value of all the bad loans?
This deal stinks. It smirks of fraudulent collusion between BOU, its lawyers and DFCU. Many companies lined up to buy crane bank as a going concern but BOU refused. Why? Many companies wanted to buy Crane Bank's bad loans. Again BOU refused. The silence ends here and now. Tomorrow I am going to reveal what actually happened.



Wednesday 15 March 2017

The daughter to a popular politician decided to show everyone



 The daughter to a popular politician decided to show everyone

The daughter to a popular politician decided to show everyone her goodies in an upmarket club in Kampala.
The lady was said to have been heavy on drugs and alcohol and was seen dancing with every other man who cared to be rubbed.
He Kept shouting the name of her father and dared to shoot anyone who came in her way while having fun.
Her friends tried covering her but she was stubborn. They had no choice but to wait until the alcohol  level in her system wet down.

Behind the Scenes of Bebe Cool’s New Video “18 and Over”



Behind the Scenes of Bebe Cool’s New Video “18 and Over”

 

The two are also seen in the crystal colorful video enjoying the bumpy rides before going to share a dinner together where Bebe Cool is seen trying to feed the happy lady. Check out some of the photos below.


Moses Ssali alias Bebe Cool who promised his fans a new song at the beginning of every month is yet ti drop another crystal clear video for his new single dubbed ’18 and Over” whose video has already been shot.
The Gagamel CEO is seen in the behind the scenes of this video while enjoying and having a good time with the sexy video vixen he shot with.

BEST JOKES EVER.

                                  

  1. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
  2. Why did the policeman smell bad? He was on duty.
  3. Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? FO DRIZZLE!
  4. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because it has a silent pee.
  5. What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.
  6. What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.
  7. Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Why the long face?”
  8. A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, get out of here! We don’t serve mushrooms here”. Mushroom says, “why not? I’m a fungai!”
  9. I never make mistakes…I thought I did once; but I was wrong.
  10. What’s Beethoven’s favorite fruit?…Ba-na-na-naaa!
  11. What did the little fish say when he swam into a wall? DAM!
  12. Knock knock. Who’s there? Smell mop. (finish this joke in your head)
  13. Where does a sheep go for a haircut? To the baaaaa baaaaa shop!
  14. What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!
  15.  
  16. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.
  17. What’s the last thing that goes thru a bug’s mind as he hits the windshield? His butt.
  18. Knock knock- who’s there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? Dwayne the tub I’m dwounding!
  19. The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense.
  20. What goes “ha ha thump”? A man laughing his head off.
  21. What did the grape say when he was pinched? Nothing, he gave a little wine.
  22. What’s brown and sticky? A stick!
  23. Why are pirates so mean? I don’t know, they just arrrrrrrrr!
  24. Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh!
  25. What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner.
  26. Have you heard about the cannibal that passed his brother in the forest?
  27. Who’s there?” … “Control freak. Okay now you say, ‘Control freak who?”
  28. What do you call cheese that’s not yours? It’s nacho cheese.
  29. What do you get when you put a candle in a suit of armor? A knight light.
  30. Have you heard about corduroy pillows?! They’re making headlines!
  31. Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Ba-dum Tish!
  32. There were two peanuts walking down a dark alley, one was assaulted.
  33. What do you call a sleepwalking nun… A roamin’ Catholic.
  34. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
  35. What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
  36. Why did the orange stop? Because, it ran outta juice.
  37. What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!
  38. Knock knock. Who’s there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOO!
  39. Why did the storm trooper buy an iphone? He couldn’t find the Droid he was looking for.
  40. Knock knock…who’s there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? Ooooo gross! (now do you get the earlier one?)
  41. Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.
  42. Why did the stop light turn red??? You would too if you had to change in the middle if the street!
  43. Bacon and eggs walk into a bar and order a beer, the bartender says sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.
  44. What do you do with a dead chemist …. You Barium.
  45. What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a Pitt Bull? – Lipstick!
  46. A guy walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables…the bartender says, buddy, I’ll serve you as long as you don’t start anything.
  47. Two cows are sitting in a field, and one says to the other, “so, how about that mad cow disease? Scary stuff, right?” To which to other replies, “terrifying. But what do I care? I’m a helicopter.”
  48. How does Jesus make tea???? Hebrews it.
  49. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elephino!
  50. What did the farmer say when he couldn’t find his tractor? “Where’s my Tractor?!”
  51. Have you heard about the duck that was arrested for dealing? He was selling “quack”.
  52. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
  53. How do you catch a unique rabbit? You ‘neek’ up on it.
  54. How do you catch a tame rabbit? The ‘tame’ way.
  55. What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATHE!
  56. *While waving your hands on either side of the other person’s head* “running through the woods, running through the woods, running through the woods. Close our eyes!” *smack person on forehead* “TREE! Never close your eyes when you’re running through the woods!”
  57. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hippa. Hippa who? I’m sorry, I’can’t tell you that.
  58. Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says “gosh, it’s hot in here”. The other muffin screams “AAAH!! A talking muffin!”
  59. If you’re American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? European!
  60. A liberal, a moderate, and a conservative walk into a bar. Bartender says, “Hey Mitt! What’ll ya have?”
  61. What does the man in the moon do when his hair gets too long? Eclipse it!
OMG, where did you guys get all those?
You made my day. Now for those who are a little more adventurous…
WARNING, the next page is some of the completely inappropriate, politically incorrect, and more naaaaughty ones that you submitted. I laughed at them because I think laughing at the inappropriate jokes of life makes real life and real thinking more enjoyable. These definitely won’t be everyone’s cup of tea.
And if you don’t go to the next page, what’s your favorite short joke ever?